Hoping Drafted Bills Enjoy Buffalo

Be nice to the new guy.  The most prominent Buffalo Bill with the least seniority is going to be starting his first job after college with expectations to change destiny.  And he’ll be putting together IKEA furniture in between practices. Continue reading Hoping Drafted Bills Enjoy Buffalo

Buffalo Bills Try Making New Workers Feel Welcome

Listing the deepest needs for the Buffalo Bills is like ranking the worst drought seasons: it’s tough to even know where to start.  I’m fond of receivers and 2001, respectively.  But an up-and-coming club has lots of potential if you’re Continue reading Buffalo Bills Try Making New Workers Feel Welcome

Buffalo Bills Find Free Agents Worth the Price

If you’re hungry, go to a supermarket, maybe?  Or, restaurants exist.  I’m not telling you how to live unless you’re the Buffalo Bills general manager.  In that case, don’t blow your food budget on stickers and temporary tattoos.  Fulfilling basic Continue reading Buffalo Bills Find Free Agents Worth the Price

Buffalo Bills Retain Character by Not Adding Antonio Brown

Buffalo fans found someone new to loathe.  Antonio Brown made our list of things to do today alongside various cheap shot artists and numerous Boston sports twerps.  I didn’t expect this particular sulking ingrate would become an enemy late on Continue reading Buffalo Bills Retain Character by Not Adding Antonio Brown

The Bills WRs Aren’t as Leptokurtic as You Think

Original Cam Phillips Photo The Buffalo News

My nerd math teacher would call the Bills’ WR Room a negatively-skewed leptokurtic distribution. Then he would try to explain it: “Leptokurtic distributions are statistical distributions where there are extreme points along the X axis, more concentrated about the mean”. Continue reading The Bills WRs Aren’t as Leptokurtic as You Think

Buffalo Bills Looking for a Catch

There’s good news if Josh Allen liked proving he can throw without anyone catching.  His biggest excuse at Wyoming also applies to his pro-squad.  When it comes to receivers, the Buffalo Bills would like to point out how good their Continue reading Buffalo Bills Looking for a Catch

Wanting What Is Needed In Buffalo Bills Draft

The draft is only so customizable. Teams can’t choose which types of players they want.  Sure, each new employee has a job category, but general managers have to order from the limited pizza toppings left.  Please save us from pineapple. Continue reading Wanting What Is Needed In Buffalo Bills Draft

Thankful for Service, Buffalo Bills Get Ready to Fire

Figuring out who’s not present in a group is tricky.  It takes a true party animal to be noticed for not attending.  Our football gatherings don’t have rooting interests for now.  That’s no reason to stop celebrating.  Didn’t you hear Continue reading Thankful for Service, Buffalo Bills Get Ready to Fire

Hurting Your Feelings Is Nothing Personal for Buffalo Bills

Dang, general managers are so cold.  An utter lack of emotional attachment is crucial for successful franchises.  The Spock-like willingness to rise above emotion and discard a player who isn’t contributing separates those in the business from the emotional Kirks Continue reading Hurting Your Feelings Is Nothing Personal for Buffalo Bills

Stacking Up: Best Offensive Units in the AFC East

Training camp for the Bills has opened, and soon the other three AFC East teams will all be in camp. With that in mind, it’s time to measure where the Bills rank against their divisional foes by position. First we look Continue reading Stacking Up: Best Offensive Units in the AFC East