Buffalo Bills Search High and Wide for Help

Clever football teams measure progress with how many yards they obtain vertically.  Upward gains are useful even if the NFL doesn’t track them.  A limited 2-D mentality may let you dominate Mattel Football.  But modern franchises can still exploit the Continue reading Buffalo Bills Search High and Wide for Help

Buffalo Bills No Longer Concerned with Sammy Watkins’s Lack of Concern

Sammy Watkins is uncultured.  I don’t mean he deleted Great Performances at the Met from the DVR to make room for Impractical Jokers.  It’s just that he’s not someone who fits with a franchise like the Buffalo Bills trying to Continue reading Buffalo Bills No Longer Concerned with Sammy Watkins’s Lack of Concern

Buffalo Bills Might Not Be Done Catching Wideouts

There’s not enough powdered sugar on the ice cream topping our waffle.  Buffalo Bills fans are spoiled with sweetness, which is way better than all those years of broccoli for dessert.  Our favorite team has three impressive receiving options, which Continue reading Buffalo Bills Might Not Be Done Catching Wideouts

Going On About Stefon As Buffalo Bills Deliver Good Trade in Quarantine

The universe may be halfheartedly apologizing for trapping us inside with no sports.  We’ve been cooped up trying to not spill takeout in the airlock and can’t even pass the confinement by enjoying our favorite hobby of watching men chase Continue reading Going On About Stefon As Buffalo Bills Deliver Good Trade in Quarantine

Hoping Drafted Bills Enjoy Buffalo

Be nice to the new guy.  The most prominent Buffalo Bill with the least seniority is going to be starting his first job after college with expectations to change destiny.  And he’ll be putting together IKEA furniture in between practices. Continue reading Hoping Drafted Bills Enjoy Buffalo

Buffalo Bills Try Making New Workers Feel Welcome

Listing the deepest needs for the Buffalo Bills is like ranking the worst drought seasons: it’s tough to even know where to start.  I’m fond of receivers and 2001, respectively.  But an up-and-coming club has lots of potential if you’re Continue reading Buffalo Bills Try Making New Workers Feel Welcome

Buffalo Bills Find Free Agents Worth the Price

If you’re hungry, go to a supermarket, maybe?  Or, restaurants exist.  I’m not telling you how to live unless you’re the Buffalo Bills general manager.  In that case, don’t blow your food budget on stickers and temporary tattoos.  Fulfilling basic Continue reading Buffalo Bills Find Free Agents Worth the Price

Buffalo Bills Retain Character by Not Adding Antonio Brown

Buffalo fans found someone new to loathe.  Antonio Brown made our list of things to do today alongside various cheap shot artists and numerous Boston sports twerps.  I didn’t expect this particular sulking ingrate would become an enemy late on Continue reading Buffalo Bills Retain Character by Not Adding Antonio Brown

The Bills WRs Aren’t as Leptokurtic as You Think

Original Cam Phillips Photo The Buffalo News

My nerd math teacher would call the Bills’ WR Room a negatively-skewed leptokurtic distribution. Then he would try to explain it: “Leptokurtic distributions are statistical distributions where there are extreme points along the X axis, more concentrated about the mean”. Continue reading The Bills WRs Aren’t as Leptokurtic as You Think

Buffalo Bills Looking for a Catch

There’s good news if Josh Allen liked proving he can throw without anyone catching.  His biggest excuse at Wyoming also applies to his pro-squad.  When it comes to receivers, the Buffalo Bills would like to point out how good their Continue reading Buffalo Bills Looking for a Catch