Sick burns are useless if they don’t come to mind until the next day. Humans must take immediate advantage to hurt the feelings of foes. The timing was off on the sort of afternoon where the punting was good while the placekicking was not.
The Buffalo Bills are posting a Craigslist missed connection for the opportunity they let pass by. Coming up with a good game plan Monday afternoon isn’t helpful, especially since the league decided the Bills aren’t worthy of evening football. Based on giving the Browns hope, it’s tough to bicker.
Results are binary. There’s no ambiguity about whether the light switch is on or off. Yet, there is shading in interpreting just how disappointing certain results can be.
As for dimmers, topping the Ralph Wiggums of the NFL without outsmarting the Lisa Simpsons leaves questions about academic preparedness. And frustration is rampant after falling to the Browns, the league’s Nelson Muntz.
Using their 43rd try to get in the end zone from the two is the sort of clever strategy that has allowed the Browns to help their city’s fans cope with the Barons leaving. A wall comprised of exhausted humans won’t hold back floodwaters indefinitely.
The defense can only do so much. One of the things they can’t do is tackle at the point of contact. The unit could aid its case by not letting rugby mauls get out of hand. But it’s tough to put on a perfect game when they’re expected to win mostly on their own. Couldn’t they hire an assistant?
It counts as a wildcat snap if the quarterback runs constantly. Josh Allen’s personal highlight involved using his giant arm to tuck the ball and gallop. Cradling the ball was the best use of his most treasured limb on a day he perpetually overthrew the deepest threats. Arm strength can’t be redeemed for points. Go to the carnival and ding the bell with the hammer if you’re desperate to show off.
I checked the roster and they have other rushers besides Allen. Their availability was easily forgotten based on the stubborn refusal to deploy them against a Cleveland team that gets gashed biblically. Moses parted the sea before deciding it would only be fair to swim for it. Push away the helping hand with the last ounce of strength to flaunt one’s ability to tread water.
The offense’s pieces are going underutilized like my college degree. It’s a universally bad football sign when your only two touchdowns are by a quarterback, and not from throwing, either. Sustained offensive competence remains as elusive as The Walking Dead’s plot. Are they ever going to advance the narrative?
Sacking Baker Mayfield is the most fun way to tie a game, But the club didn’t take advantage of the delightful takedown. Gleefully sadistic defenders are supposed make him feel like the heir to Johnny Manziel. Instead, he’ll be able to exploit the false confidence such a thin ultimate triumph brings.
An offense more frustrating than Buffalo and Cleveland’s combined sporting histories tilted the torture balance along Lake Erie. Ohio’s most prominent city has the sort of teams that argue in a restaurant. You feel terrible while experiencing relief that it’s not your family. That one time LeBron benevolently won a trophy while wearing the city’s insignia saved many from anguished insanity. The Bills made following their teams more bearable.
There’s a difference between assembling talent and getting it to work. That’s the problem with everything all the time. Sports are merely a convenient example, which justifies the effort put into following them. Seeing what actually happens instead of presuming our plans will become reality is the crucial lesson we must relearn weekly.
A roster may look fantastic on the screen. And Batman versus Superman should have been awesome. Troubles dogging entities that appear like they should easily succeed define an unnerving quantity of franchises.
But the Doctor Phil episode of a club still found how to win. Sunday featured intermittent flashes of why excessively enthusiastic Browns endorsers spent the summer fantasizing about Cleveland’s first Super Bowl. Those hopes still might be a bit premature. Outcomes are about more than looking at the roster.
Similarly, the Bills can’t be summarized by a decent record that conceals struggles. More flat performances will level out their percentage quickly. Sunday’s hope evaporated at a sluggish pace by comparison.
The Bills covered themselves in napalm instead of dumping more on a trash fire. Not taking advantage of the incineration could keep their marshmallows uncooked.
Now, don’t miss obvious chances again unless getting roasted is enjoyable. There are thousands of fans who know to give Devin Singletary the ball 20 more times if the franchise seeks an inexpensive new offensive coordinator.
Editor’s babble: As always, thanks to Anthony for his contributions to our blog. You can find Anthony on Twitter @AnthonyBialy.