Buffalo Bills Do What They Can Against Teams Who Cannot

Photo/meme from dallasnews.com.

Running a city is fun. Well, maybe SimCity is. Telling pretend people how to live is quite the power trip. That’s if you keep it set on easy. It’s tougher to acquire enough funds to build arcologies if you accidentally change the difficulty to medium. Why is everyone fleeing?

Take a break from wasting the precious gift of life making pretend metropolises run to watch actual men fight for the territory in the middle of New Era Field. It’s not the Buffalo Bills’ fault the opponent only brought in a single win.

The Washington Redskins seemed to present another challenge that was less than formidable in the same sense Mike Williams was less than skilled at blocking people. But the Bills can only push around who shows up, even if we’d like a bit more pancaking.

Bitching about winning 75 percent of the time is how we demonstrate fondness. Only those in the family understand.  It’s fine to enjoy wins while anticipating eventual dominance. We’re just asking that you score 50, not that you win by 50.

Thank you for keeping it close so we’re excited watching. But a one-score game in the fourth quarter against a club that would get relegated were it based in a European capital is a bit too dramatic.

Dwayne Haskins learned to swim by being thrown into a shark tank, a method disapproved by the YMCA. Yet he was more comfortable than the new captain of a ship heading over Niagara Falls should’ve been.

Going 15 of 22 was tempered by how many of the new starter’s throws were short enough to basically be long handoffs. But he took what was available when the secondary limited his browsing options.

Historians dug a duel between running backs who witnessed Aaron Burr killing Alexander Hamilton. Frank Gore played a supporting role in shaping events. The Bills don’t have to lean on someone who should have to use a cane.

Photo from pinterest.com and Getty Images.

By contrast, Adrian Peterson is his side’s sole weapon during a time when most men who do his job are scanning beaches with metal detectors. Putting 11 guys in the box may seem like a risk, but only if you haven’t heard about how he’s the last store in the abandoned mall. We may as well grab an Orange Julius.

Meanwhile, Devin Singletary only knows about the Macarena from history books. I strive to be as patient as him. The fractions of a second he spends waiting for space mean a happy week. Now, that’s a good investment of time.

The Bills completed their mission to ensure Washington’s football team doesn’t win any more games while its other franchises win titles. There’s a bipartisan desire to limit the cesspool on the Potomac to a Stanley Cup and World Series.  

The dollar you found is as valuable as the one you got for your shift at the lemonade stand. The league doesn’t check the records of the foes of playoff teams. Well, they could for a tiebreaker, but let’s worry about Cleveland before making plans to watch January football. The Bills don’t have to apologize for playing remedial divisions filled with juvenile delinquents.

The scientists are participating in the experiment. Buffalo has contributed to teams struggling rather than merely being handed cupcakes. They may have set Eli Manning on the path to his first retirement. Soon, he can pursue his true calling, being less successful at commercials than Peyton, too. For once, it feels like this roster is not merely comprised of observers.

Everyone moaning how a 6-2 team has yet to face a true ninja dojo is brimming with life. Very grateful observers fail to note how many times the Bills have seemed to face an uncannily tough schedule. Life has often felt like it’s run by the shadowy diabolical people from the X-Files documentary.  

All Buffalo can do is cope with predetermination. The teams faced are set by formula, which means fate hates us the most.  Usually, overcoming the slate has felt uncannily daunting.  Nobody seemed to feel bad during seasons when they had to play the Pan-Galactic champions followed by a team of Terminators in consecutive weeks on the road.

The 2019 Bills do seem to play many teams more suited for flag football, and you may keep wondering where the blowouts are. The lack of a truly dominant win isn’t solely noticed by ingrates.  The hope for something that hasn’t arrived adds a little frustration to a season that’s going pretty dang well, which connects it to Buffalo fandom.

Photo from ispot.tv.

True dominance is as elusive as my positivity. They’ve had half the season to put a game away by the first awful GMC commercial where that thankless woman takes her husband’s truck instead of the one he bought her. And they haven’t done it once. But this could merely be a flawed good team that’s still figuring out how to win and getting it done while they are.

Both lines are working developing strength. With growth in mind, they’re still precociously beating whichever struggling teams shows up.

By fortuitous coincidence, their next matchup is against a Browns team that’s amazingly finding new ways to disappoint Cleveland. To be fair, they did release the player who threatened to murder those who noticed he couldn’t tackle.  The Bills better again take the chance to show they’ll prey upon those with self-inflicted wounds.

It’s nice to face others who are troubled enough to be the subjects of an Afterschool Special for a change. Winning is a formidable task no matter how relatively easy the circumstances may seem. The proof is in the record even if they’re only technically beating NFL teams.

Editor’s babble: As always, thanks to Anthony Bialy for his contributions to our blog… and for all the giggles. You can find Anthony on Twitter @AnthonyBialy.

About Anthony Bialy

Anthony Bialy recently moved back to Buffalo from New York City and acts like he never left. He thinks "Buffalo 66" is biographical and considers it a crime against mankind that Steve Tasker is not in the Hall of Fame. He likes getting Tim Hortons on the way to get Labatt Blue. Follow him on Twitter at @AnthonyBialy.