The shame of having trailed the 2019 Dolphins should provide motivation for the Buffalo Bills to stay modest. Miami’s present version is the worst thing since their mascot, which I remind you is a dolphin.
An erstwhile intense rivalry based on gangs from entirely different hometowns was spicier than expected. The only thing better than learning for next time is putting a plan into action today.
Our favorite football dudes kept it dramatic after their short vacation. Deprived backers could do without the extra excitement. Let’s blame initial sluggishness on a week off.
Oh, like you work your hardest on the Monday after your thrilling week in Branson.
The return to toil began lackadaisically. But they got back into their work groove just in time. The recreational Sunday didn’t ultimately inspire mutiny.
There’s a difference between players and gamers. ‘Tre’Helmetless’ White isn’t just a hockey savant: he creates football narratives. The best competitors define what happens next instead of allowing events.
Miami’s fumble while down by a field goal in the fourth quarter is on brand. To maintain continuity, don’t bother covering Cole Beasley in the end zone, as he hasn’t scored all season. My favorite number hasn’t hit on the roulette wheel for the past 50 spins, which means it’ll never happen.
Williams is the only Duke for whom I’ll cheer. While he only fielded one catch, it was important and daring enough that I had to think for a moment before I remembered the name Zay Jones. The play featured nice touch from Human T-Shirt Cannon Josh Allen. A fastball specialist is slowly stirring in his changeup.
Contempt has diminished during a matchup that is presently about which team is less likely to stand up to the Patriots. Still, I want to hate the Dolphins, and I do because I am from Buffalo.
Enmity felt less forced than usual thanks to dirtbag play. Christian Wilkins was possessed by the spirit of Bryan Cox as he wisely punched someone wearing football equipment, and it was sweet of him to portray a weak version of Ivan Drago. It’s too bad for Bobby McCain that he can’t tackle players like he spits on fans, as Buffalo’s new top enemy scumbag would otherwise have a better carer.
Appalling Dolphins remind us of healthy contempt as found in years past. Next year, beg schedule-makers to make the franchise which models itself after a fake fish endure pleasantly brutal weather. The only thing nicer than October in Orchard Park is December while hosting a team from near the Tropic of Cancer.
A game against Miami team whose record suggests players want the team to relocate seemed winnable. And that’s precisely why not to presume a win is forthcoming. That scare the Bills provided in the first half was as frightening as anything shown during AMC’s Fear Fest, with the difference being the Bills adjusted to run out of the cabin at halftime. Jason Voorhees is flummoxed by escaping prey.
Looking at the schedule and deciding which games will be victories tempts fate more than Sammy Watkins celebrating before reaching the end zone. There is no justification to get cocky this early in a season. If they keep finishing this well, there’s even less reason to think it’ll keep happening. Anticipate success will evaporate, especially while possessing it.
You don’t just miss the collisions by only checking the score. Prognosticators can’t just look at the records beforehand and proclaim that the team that’s won more will do so again. Miami didn’t play like their season was over before Halloween, and the possibility of a winless team looking ornery about it is why we watch.
As seen when the Paramount Network again shows John Wick killing everyone who ever upset him, even the predictable parts can be exciting. Waiting for Ryan Fitzpatrick to implode is like the Harlem Globetrotters throwing the bucket full of confetti: you enjoy it precisely because you know it’s coming. Falling apart as a matter of fate is a tragedy like in one of them Shakespeare books he read at fancy college.
Fitzmagic is erratic. A Hogwarts brat would be expelled for casting spells so unevenly. Harvard’s academic standards are less stringent. His inherent decency adds even more schaden to the freude of watching the implosion. There’s no other player fans cheer for who so consistently falls just short.
The man who had to replace Trent Edwards is sometimes good but not quite enough, which anyone paying attention could’ve mentioned a decade ago. I’m glad nobody informed Miami. The inability to finish despite flashes makes it easy for fans of his cornucopia of past teams to still like him.
Josh Rosen’s roster replacement by the first overall pick will become an annual event. I wonder which team he’ll play a few snaps for in 2020.
Miami has already made a horrid deal: they’re trading a young quarterback’s development in exchange for a futile attempt to win meaningless games with a middling veteran. The Dolphins may as well start Kelly Holcomb.
Back in Buffalo, both coaches encourage fans to stay through the end. Sean McDermott didn’t head to Europe on his way to Buffalo unlike Ralph Krueger. Despite taking distinct paths, the Pegulas’ top lieutenants have their squads fighting as we like.
The resiliency means teams we once rightly figured would have crushed our dreams are finding ways to persevere. Neither seems like the type to take early success for granted. That’s the best way to sustain it.
Editor’s babble: Priceless. However, I do believe Sam Darnold’s early Halloween celebration might supercede the annual “where will Josh Rosen be traded next” event… if Darnold makes his nightmare a yearly event. Tough call. Thanks to my dear friend Anthony for his contributions to our blog, and even more so for his great company while I was in the homeland. You can find Anthony on Twitter @AnthonyBialy.