Try teaching children that cheaters never prosper. If you’ve also taught them to be Buffalo Bills fans, they’ll know you’re a big fat liar. The willingness to trade a penalty for knocking out a quarterback is merely the millionth reason nobody respects the Patriots.
If the rules treat a holding and headshot as equivalent while refs refuse to eject a hoodlum, why not exploit the Football Purge? For one team per week, all crime is legal.
The season’s not over: three-quarters of the schedule remains even though it feels like the world has ended. Aside from the zeppelin crash feel of their first genuine test, the Bills kept things close despite ultimately remaining doomed. Moral victories are the first playoff tiebreaker, no?
Staying competitive in a loss makes it feel better or maybe worse. A few specific promising signs sustain optimism. Pass rushers successfully harassed the person who deserves it most in the world even without sacking him. And watching Frank Gore rumble across the prairie like he did down the Oregon Trail was as satisfying as carrying a hundred pounds of meat.
But there are plenty of plays to not make. Josh Allen must grasp when not to throw. The inability or unwillingness to learn from errors will cause a new career as an analyst to begin prematurely. One can’t keep promising to get better, as chances to display obtained knowledge are finite. Throw out the eggshells, I reminded myself as I choked down another round of crunchy pancakes.
Enough went poorly as usual. Watching key plays fall apart as they happened created the helpless feeling of watching a car wreck from the sidewalk. The final deflected pass arcing through the sky only haunts us when we close our eyes. At least Matt Barkley gets a chance to prepare for his next outing.
Allen’s chance to show his capacity for learning was prevented from what will remain a notorious assault. Hitting a stopped quarterback in the head is precisely the sort of felony the NFL claims to be legislating out of existence. Instead, trying to dent a helmet won’t even get players from certain teams a suspension.
The NFL thinks letting a wrestling villain hold the title is good for business. We can only hope officials are corrupt, as it’s tough to believe they’re this inept.
Calls break consistently in one direction in a coincidence as uncanny as my Saturday dehydrated headache. If the league wants to squash conspiracies, they can start by ending the call caste system. The unwillingness to make a headhunter sit and think about what he did ruins the case that the league just missed the offense during real time.
Milan Lucic is the only athlete who doesn’t think Jonathan Jones is a cheap shot artist. The same mouthy clods who didn’t grasp that bowling over a goalie is prohibited no matter if he’s out of the crease now need to learn that hitting a quarterback’s cranium with one’s own is naughty even if he’s rushing. Boston loves their dastards. Did Gronk think the spearing was vicious enough?
An appalling percentage of Patriots fans excusing away a head-crushing have squeezed out their own brains in the name of fandom. Meanwhile, they would be calling for an on-field execution if a defender targeted Tom Brady’s skull, a request the league would gladly honor during Jennifer Lopez’s Super Bowl halftime performance.
Why not blame the victim if you’re going to be shameless? I envy those who haven’t encountered tweets from New Englanders explaining why Allen is the one who should’ve been penalized for lowering his head. The same ones who refer to a team they follow as “We” sure are eager to justify appalling behavior that helps their faction.
The first loss feels like the heaviest result. Games against the division’s bully are inevitably put into historical context. Frustration at their own errors paired with the blatant malfeasance routinely permitted by Hell’s favorite team contribute to a ceaseless trend.
It always seems like there’s a deeper story against New England beyond the score, like how I suspect that Moby Dick might be about more than hunting a whale. There’s too much symbolism in our vain cheering.
Bills fans somehow still believe conditions could change despite how rottenness seems permanent. This club’s travails resemble real life a little too closely. Waking up hopeful despite events is how this franchise has spent most of 60 years. Pain is only unbearable without the prospect of alleviation.
The only worse punishment is getting everything wanted. Limitless success can rot a person. Patriots fans who act like they’ve accomplished something excuse their favorite team’s horrifying misdeeds. At worst, they could end up working for Barstool Sports, and I guarantee their pay isn’t a good price for a soul.
Life isn’t scripted to be nice, note the characters. If you’re tired of fuming after these matchups, it means you’re very perceptive.
Burning at the injustice feels like taking things too seriously: after all, they are games. But people are invested in the course of play. Sports ideally inspire by showing competitors thriving. Instead, checkered matchups bring to mind mundane life struggles. Can they be a bit less accurate?
There’s little fun when a sport sums up existence too well. On that note, the squad is off to Tennessee, the site of the most infamous jobbing in Bills history. An offense that minimizes mistakes is the best way to overcome an uphill field.
Editor’s babble: This one hit close to home. Thanks to Anthony Bialy for his thought provoking contributions to our blog. You can find Anthony on Twitter @AnthonyBialy.