One Year Older, One ‘Fuller’ Roster for Josh Allen

Photo of QB Josh Allen from mynews13.com.

Josh Allen won’t be able to make excuses.  That’s just what he seeks, hopefully.  If he didn’t want a challenge, then why did he get drafted by Buffalo?  Fate’s a bitch even if you’re making a fortune based on potential at throwing a ball. 

A hefty paycheck may not be worth it.  Allen’s first job after college required running for safety because the hiring manager had to wait a year to add qualified coworkers.  This is not a telecommuting position.

Expecting immediate success would’ve been like storming Omaha Beach with a Boy Scout troop.  Careful research indicates teams are not going to win anything without enough resources, much less proper ones.  The top receiver managing 652 yards would be a good total for a college wishbone team.  But football has changed over the past half-century, especially for those getting paid to play it.

Bills fans look forward to a day when we don’t have to explain that the NFL indeed has minor league teams. The 2018 team set a record for issued disclaimers about a quarterback’s supporting cast.  That was the only productive thing the roster inspired. 

Photo of Eddie Murphy from moviehole.net.

Eddie Murphy did his best to provide enough laughs singlehandedly to fill Saturday Night Live episodes.  Most of Allen’s efforts last season were mostly like trying to watch any early ’80s sketch without Mister Robinson. 

Dismissing Allen’s potential is good way to identify those who don’t watch the Bills, yet feel qualified to explain why they suck.  Explaining why there should be an asterisk alongside a 67.9 rating will remain a full-time hobby until this season begins.  There’s another reason to cheer for September to hurry.

The teaser for the preview looks exciting. With the ever-present qualification that he’s competing against teammates in team activities that are barely organized, Allen has been throwing handsomely so far. We have little else to go on, so at least get excited he’s displaying the raw talent that led to his drafting even if he’s virtually unopposed.

Photo of DT Marcell Dareus from athlonsports.com.

The Bills paid a fortune to players they didn’t want to play.  They are apparently the first team in NFL history to overhaul a roster, at least according to Twitter replies from the sort of people who follow Barstool staff accounts.  

A gunslinger ideally won’t have to sling guns with every reprobate he faces at the card table.  Allen’s biggest help may come from a defense that will ideally limit shootouts.  The offense’s most prominent player should be delighted at Ed Oliver’s addition, and not just because he never has to fear having his bones pulverized by his teammate.  Those red practice jerseys are a blessing.  Buffalo’s defense looks primed to make life difficult for opponents, which means relief for a confused offense going through puberty.

Modern humans are blessed with the ability to instantly tell if something will suck forever.  Note Steve Young was 30 before he thrived in the NFL to inspire a look of bafflement from those half-listening as they stare at glowing screens.

Everyone wants success yesterday.  Immediately is not soon enough.  Even saints who appreciate patience agree it’s been too damn long since a playoff win.  Faith that things will work out when they don’t seem to be working at all is innate around here. 

The Bills offer a religious experience.  We are so accustomed to frustration that we forget it’s possible to succeed.  I mean, there’s no rule against it, although officials wouldn’t call it correctly if there were.

Photo of Queen Elizabeth from thenews.com.pk.

A notoriously undertrained quarterback needs refinement like a monkey meeting the Queen.  It takes time just to get him to put on a tux, never mind learning when to bow.

Allen’s crew seems to have improved.  The supporting cast is far better if perusing a list onscreen. But this year’s additions still have to prove they can play well together on fake grass.

Blatantly ignorant commenters with tremendous self-assurance conclude a second-year pro is doomed to never succeed.  Buffalo still must see if John Brown and Cole Beasley will separate enough to make work easy for their quarterback. 

But at least the possibility of skilled workers complementing each other exists, which makes 2019 different for greater reasons than just being one more.  Running fast and catching are simple skills that aren’t easy to find, at least if you’ve been cheering for the Bills.

As any Manhattan waiter seeking the right audition will tell you before serving your mozzarella sticks, circumstances affect the ability to maximize talent.  It’s fair to wonder if Eric Moulds would be in the Hall of Fame if the Colts had drafted him to play with Peyton Manning, while Marvin Harrison would’ve been frustrated playing with 73 different Bills quarterbacks, including Kelly Holcomb.  Please let lousy conditions no longer be an excuse.

A second-year pro races to establish himself so the Bills aren’t wondering who the next passer will be in which they invest irrational hopes.  Please notice patterns to escape this Star Trek temporal nerd loop of doom.

Imagine knowing who will be starting at quarterback for multiple consecutive seasons.  Such stability seems uncomfortable.  Creating an unnerving lack of worry will take a bit of assistance.  At least Allen’s most prominent teammates won’t be paid to skip town.

Editor’s babble: Another lost cup of coffee on my keyboard after reading this gem by Anthony Bialy. And I just had to replace my laptop from previous dousing caused by reading his columns. My laptops need hazard pay. You can find Anthony on Twitter @AnthonyBIaly. Have a fabulous day!

About Anthony Bialy

Anthony Bialy recently moved back to Buffalo from New York City and acts like he never left. He thinks "Buffalo 66" is biographical and considers it a crime against mankind that Steve Tasker is not in the Hall of Fame. He likes getting Tim Hortons on the way to get Labatt Blue. Follow him on Twitter at @AnthonyBialy.