Hoping Drafted Bills Enjoy Buffalo

Photo from cover1.net.

Be nice to the new guy.  The most prominent Buffalo Bill with the least seniority is going to be starting his first job after college with expectations to change destiny.  And he’ll be putting together IKEA furniture in between practices.

Whoever they select first won’t choose where he’s going to begin work.  Our newest hero will relocate to an awesome yet unknown city where he’ll be expected to fulfill the dreams of strangers who worship him as they demand immediate success.  Let this figurative superhuman superstar get in a few practices before swearing too loudly in his direction.

The most prominent draftee may not be your preferred player or even position.  But let’s attempt the impossible for fans and give this person a chance to move here then possibly excel at a career.  Yes, Brandon Beane should totally add a wide receiver the first chance he has to add someone new.  That said, I’ll try not to grumble if they don’t obey my demands on who to select.  I promise nothing.

Photo from nfl.com.

There’s no way of knowing with certainty.  This is true for everything in life and especially for drafting football players, as again sports teach the valuable lesson to fear the future turning disastrous.  How else do those who don’t follow teams learn life is cruel?

Thinking of fun ahead could leave us bored this weekend.  Let’s heat up our debit cards even if it means we don’t have money for a bus pass by Monday.  Can resources be made to last more than five minutes? Front offices have to resist the impulse to be impulsive.  The confidence required to select someone at a position where they don’t have an urgent vacancy will prompt social media outrage.  But there will be seasons after 2019 according to league projections and our current understanding of time.

That said, there are several starting jobs that a rookie could take.  The upside of having ample needs is there should be plenty of options who can contribute immediately.

You can’t bank on grand plans working out.  Sure, the front office has signed plenty of free agents.  And Jay-Z was supposed to make me want to attend Woodstock 50. Getting ripped off to wallow in mud with neo-hippies wasn’t enticement enough.

Noting the abundance of vacancies for the Bills is like looking on the bright side of a neutron weapon’s detonation.  More elbow room is not as valuable as the alternative.  But a depleted franchise may as well use the lack of skilled warm bodies as a chance to add desirable staff.  Every hiring manager seeks candidates who seize opportunities for advancement.  Buffalo wants workers who are ready to get right to it.

We should not expect much at first.  Front offices always warn against drafting for need, as it leads to thinking a third-round talent is worth a first-round selection. 

Don’t look for a spouse at last call.

Photo from merriam-webster.com.

Even selecting someone to address depletion may not fire the afterburner.  The two positions with the thinnest present depth charts are arguably wideout and defensive end, which are both notorious for tough professional transitions.  The Bills presently have youngsters at both who are just starting to approach their potential, which may unfortunately temper expectations for 2019’s new crew.

Like trying to pick something at the cineplex, there are so many options that we usually settle on the Avengers punching the latest universe-menacing villain.  With hundreds of prospects, even moderate knowledge requires treating the draft like a part-time job.  If you are familiar with all of them, you may want to take up a more social hobby such as video games.

The only one who knows about each potential professional is Mel Kiper Jr., and he isn’t held accountable if his projections go sour.  You’ll note he’s never been hired as a general manager despite being a know-it-all.  There’s quite a difference between learning a language and memorizing a German-English dictionary.

The younger and slightly more foolish me thought there was no way listening to Howard Stern could disappoint. Yet here I am as a lifelong fan of outrageous vulgarity not paying extra for his faded SiriusXM channel. 

The picture that never stops giving. Photo of DT Marcell Dareus from ESPN.com.

Even the most certain locks may defy projections.  If college careers and draft status led to certainty, professional slacker Marcell Dareus would be writing his Wall of Fame speech.  The only sure thing is that there’s no sure thing.  And double-check that, too.

There’s one draft certainty, namely that we should cheer for whoever the Bills hire.  I hoped, say, John McCargo would succeed despite lingering doubts about meager effort putting mediocre talent to use that proved accurate.

Amazing projections may crash like Phil Housley’s Sabres.  Meanwhile, obscure draftees who draw skepticism may embarrass critics.  Nobody can be certain, which will keep us in suspense until kickoff.  Wondering what will happen this season doesn’t just mean looking forward to learning who’s endangered on Killing Eve.  

Even your second or third or 40th choice could pan out.  Be welcoming to new hires even if you suspect they’ll leave town by 2021.  Wave to them when they take the Buffalo tour and wait until at least preseason until labeling them busts.  Now, that’s patience.

Editor’s babble: For the first time since Bill Polian’s heyday in Buffalo, I feel confident with whomever the Bills select in the draft. Bring it on. Thanks, as always, to Anthony Bialy for keeping us giggling with his terrific contributions to our blog. You can find Anthony on Twitter @AnthonyBialy.

About Anthony Bialy

Anthony Bialy recently moved back to Buffalo from New York City and acts like he never left. He thinks "Buffalo 66" is biographical and considers it a crime against mankind that Steve Tasker is not in the Hall of Fame. He likes getting Tim Hortons on the way to get Labatt Blue. Follow him on Twitter at @AnthonyBialy.