Buffalo Bills All Over for a Few Months

Photo of DT Kyle Williams from ESPN.com.

If Miami’s not going to try, the Bills may as well forget about draft status.  I dare you to tell Josh Allen he’s supposed to worry about the Giants getting to choose first.  The dashing quarterback deserved a reward after making it through basic training. 

Getting whooped into shape is part of joining the NFL.  Bill Murray went from struggling to do pushups to finishing the season strong, and if there aren’t lessons in Stripes then my generation will never improve.

You’re probably going to be bad at first.  That’s especially true if everyone in the area code is watching your every step.  It’s easier to learn tasks while toiling in a warehouse and not in front of 71,000 people.  And that doesn’t even count viewers who are cozy at home, most of whom aren’t watching live feeds of Amazon fulfillment centers.

Photo of QB Josh Allen from buffalonews.com.

The improvement shown in the final game almost made previous regrettable outings worth it. Players need to waste repetitions in order to get used to evading defenders or halting the ball carrier.  Realtime exposure is the best way to practice, with the only downside being a six-win season.

These games counted even if it often didn’t seem like it.  Adjusting to NFL speed is not much comfort for those who paid to attend.  If nothing else, it cost precious time to watch 16 of these rarely competitive outings, so treat the triumphant finale as a semi-apology.

Players who made a game contentious think the result counts.  Jordan Mills made lots of Bills fans happy after getting ejected for getting in the way of Robert Quinn’s hand.  He was reacting to the heel turn by a familiar face. Kiko Alonso went from Buffalo legend to the reincarnation of Bryan Cox.  I’m unsure where the hoodlum picked up his unfortunate habit of aiming for heads, but it wasn’t in our gentlemanly city.

A post-ejection touchdown from the man acquired for that dastardly Kiko seemed fitting.  Allen may run like LeSean McCoy, but management should still bring back the latter for a chance at a better finish.

Photo of DT Kyle Williams from buffalonews.com.

Sunday was the last time we’ll see someone enemy quarterbacks won’t miss.  Kyle Williams was bright spot during a largely eclipsed period.  Looking for happy moments amidst widespread unhappiness is pretty much what life is, so football naturally follows the example.  Kyle taught us values as he embarrassed interior lines.

I don’t want to tell the man who worked hard until the last moment to reconsider.  But Comeback Kyle would be great as more than a 26 Shirts return. We would say all these nice things about him again if he postponed retirement.  Why would someone who can still tackle like that want to stop playing?  Here’s hoping he’ll return as a fullback.

Williams was a Bill, and it’s weird to address his career in the past tense.  His exclusive tenure was as impressive as it was extensive. 

Thirteen seasons is long enough to qualify as historic in football terms.  It’s not that hard to connect Williams to the start: Kyle played with Peerless Price, who played with Phil Hansen, who played with Jim Kelly, who played with Charles Romes, who played with Joe Ferguson, who played with Robert James, who played with Billy Shaw, who played with the first Bill Richie Lucas.  Six decades went by as quickly as he did on his pass route.

Williams thrived even when the Bills didn’t.  It’s frustrating how a stellar individual effort can sink in a sea of mediocrity.  But professionals knock foes on their hides even when properly-applied force seems pointless.  He can spend retirement tracking down the tail he worked off.  Thank you to someone whose first sack came during the Millard Fillmore presidency.

That largely awful interval is sadly over.  Bills fans miss something that hurt quite a bit.  What: you’ve never had a relationship end before? 

Ambivalence about something that provoked both fondness and torment is the deal itself.  You can’t just show up for good times, especially because they’re as rare as good DC Comics movies around here.

Photo from drinks.seriouseats.com.

Want to hit the Coke Freestyle machine again?  We could try orange Mello Yello while waiting for the feature presentation.  This season was like previews before a movie.  At least the last game was fun in a broad rock star bio kind of way.

This is no time for scolds to condemn victory’s effect on the queue order.  Yes, winning harmed draft position. But enjoy this moment’s thrashing of a hated rival even if it causes future angst. 

Like gleefully overindulging on New Year’s Eve in defiance of consequences, tolerating the ensuing hangover is unavoidable.  Well, do you want fun or not?  With the Bills, we don’t get to choose when to booze, so always have your lowball glass and ibuprofen ready.

Editor’s babble: Haha… oh I needed that. Thanks to Anthony Bialy for always finding a way to make us laugh at ourselves and for his many contributions to our blog. You can find Anthony on Twitter @AnthonyBialy.

About Anthony Bialy

Anthony Bialy recently moved back to Buffalo from New York City and acts like he never left. He thinks "Buffalo 66" is biographical and considers it a crime against mankind that Steve Tasker is not in the Hall of Fame. He likes getting Tim Hortons on the way to get Labatt Blue. Follow him on Twitter at @AnthonyBialy.