There was a time when The Rockpile Review was funny, or that’s what people told me.
I’ve been trying to remember those times. The Rockpile Review began in 2005, under a different title. In those days, it seemed I always could find the humor somewhere in the games. J.P. Losman was pretty funny, I suppose. T.O. was amusing. Marshawn was always entertaining. Eventually, however, the lovable loser thing got old. A few years earlier, Dareus would have been funny, but by his time he was just a symptom.
It’s particularly hard to find the humor when the Bills are as bad as they were against the Colts on Sunday. For the third time this season and the seventh time in two years, the Bills found themselves in a game in which they couldn’t compete. They were outplayed from the beginning. They were ineffective from the beginning. It was so bad, it should have been funny, but it was worse than that.
Well, watching Tremaine Edmunds tackle is kind of funny. If he manages to actually get his arms around the guy, he slides off like a Looney Tunes character.
Failing to score in the final two minutes of the first half while giving up 10 points was amazing, but I wasn’t laughing.
That’s about it for humor this week. At least humor about the Bills. Have you seen Jumanji: Welcome to the Jungle? Saw it the other night, and it’s surprisingly funny. It’s a clever premise, putting real people into a video game, and the writers took full advantage. It goes a bit overboard on the Indiana-Jones-like action sequences, but that’s okay. It’s worth a watch.
Sorry, but it’s kind of painful thinking about that game. Particularly painful is that I believe coaching is more important than talent, and if I’m correct about that, the Bills’ coaches are terrible. Sean McDermott says he hates pre-snap penalties. Well, Sean, you had plenty to hate on Sunday, on both sides of the ball. When’s your team going to clean them up?
I get being conservative and all, but at the end of the third quarter, down 21, you run twice and then throw incomplete on third and 12? With McCoy out of the game, Ivory gets injured, and you give the ball to Marcus Murphy four consecutive plays?
Guess what, Sean? Kelvin Benjamin has come back from the dead. He can run routes, and he’s catching the ball WITH HIS HANDS! Zay Jones looks like a real receiver, too. Can we PLEASE run some pass patterns to get these guys open? Every team in the league gets guys open on third and 3, third and 5. Just watch some film and copy what the Colts did to you.
Oh, and while you’re watching the film, try to figure out why it’s necessary for your entire zone defense to drop so deep that the opponents’ safety valve receiver can catch the ball over the middle with no defender within 15 yards. Once you figure that out, maybe you can work THAT into the offense, too.
Want to see a good movie? Bad Times at El Royale. I know, the previews make it look like another six-people-stranded-in-a-motel-on-a-rainy-night movie. Well, yes, it is. But it’s good. Interesting characters. Weird twists. It’s funny and entertaining.
The Bills, unfortunately, are not entertaining. Some days they’re good on defense, other days not so much. They’re essentially never good on offense – they’re not on the same planet with the Chiefs.. The special teams are iffy.
Things I liked: Kyle Williams. He just always plays. Jerry Hughes, penalties or not, he’s learned to play like Kyle. Tre White – man, he sticks to his man. That pass interference call was bogus; the receiver initiated the contact and then had to back off to try to catch the ball. Tremaine Edmunds, despite his tackling. Kelvin Benjamin, finally doing the things we thought he’d do when he came to Buffalo. And I like Josh Allen.
Despite what I might like, this team is in trouble. And I’m not laughing.
My wife said “maybe they’ll do better next week.” I told her next week is the Patriots. We both got a good laugh out of that.
The Rockpile Review is written to share the passion we have for the Buffalo Bills. That passion was born in the Rockpile; its parents were everyday people of western New York who translated their dedication to a full day’s hard work and simple pleasures into love for a pro football team.
Editor’s babble: Seems we’ve watched so much bad football we’re becoming numb to it. Questions, questions. I’m still trying to figure out what Brian Daboll is doing on offense. And while I’m at it, why do Danny Crossman and Juan Castillo still have a job? Who dreads their team playing Monday Night Football as much as we do? Thanks to Mark Korber for his contributions to our blog, no matter how difficult. Mark Korber is smart, you can’t find him on most social media sites, but you can occasionally find him at TheStadiumWall at twobillsdrive.com.