Wearing out the Packers by forcing them to perform constant Lambeau Leaps would’ve succeeded with just a couple more hours. Were the Buffalo Bills confused because Green Bay didn’t wear green? Learning on the job means occasional games where fans struggle to remember the highlight, singular. Trouncing Minnesota might be this club’s one hit, so remember it fondly like Sir Mix-a-Lot.
Sunday’s loss showed a quarterback’s importance, especially as it showed nothing else. Wisconsin patron saint Vince Lombardi lamented that the guy throwing the ball was too valuable in a sport that otherwise embodied team play. And he loved football so much that he was named after the Super Bowl trophy. Even more glaringly, Lombardi emphasized a caveman-era sweep that sought to club foes. He’d pop a blood vessel seeing how crucial throwing has become. The prototypical quarterback’s calmness has modernized a prehistoric sport.
The Packers know you can be good if one particular player is great. The most recent Green Bay deity embodies the oversight in the game’s structure they gleefully exploit. Buffalo can either petition the league office to ban the forward pass or keep developing their rookie savior despite afternoons filled with brutal duds.
Aaron Rodgers turns a roster as mediocre as an Eddie Money tribute act into the Rolling Stones playing in your garage.
The calmness with which he goes through progressions while stepping forward in the pocket is even more impressive considering he does his job in about two seconds. There may be better players, but there are none more valuable. Green Bay would fall apart if Rodgers’s Uber driver got lost on the way to work. Imagine him with two good knees if Sunday wasn’t bad enough for you.
Buy the wheels before the car. What do you mean you’re going nowhere? The Bills have tried for ages to compensate for middling quarterback quality. That curious inverted strategy is like The Office without Michael Scott, and nobody stays tuned in for those on Comedy Central.
Rodgers isn’t a slacker even if he seems he’s nonchalant. The best ones always make jobs look easy, although that’s still not an excuse for pilots to nap in the cockpit.
The Bills dream of a futuristic scenario after getting whooped on throwback day where they can also use the run to set up the pass. This Bizarro Superman style is currently the rage across the league, which is why the Bills feel out of place. If everyone else seems to be backward, it’s you who’s missed the latest fashion updates in Dépêche mode.
A sweet quarterback makes everything easier. Receivers resemble cyborgs built to field passes, rushers and defenders both thrive on the distractions they seek, and apparel manufacturers clear out inventory as fans watching wishes to be associated with a club who moves the ball vertically at will. It’s as obvious to note as it is tough to achieve.
By contrast, the Bills are finally grappling with reality after decades of trying to graduate without doing homework. Going cheap at quarterback is like making cocktails with Mr. Boston liquor and wondering why you’re boozing alone. Make the investment to avoid choking down swill.
Doing the job properly is worlds easier with the natural ability to throw a ball ballistically. As clearly seen, Josh Allen still needs work consistently putting that prodigious talent to use, like Peter Parker doing more with his gifts than winning wrestling matches.
Reality is unreal. Football shows us how life is a baffling struggle of unpredictable capriciousness. Aren’t sports fun? The pointlessness of predicting is never more evident than following an aberration of a victory.
Don’t make a transitional season’s agony worse by incinerating cash. Gambling seems like an easy way to make rent until kickoff. There’s a reason why bookies aren’t going poor, namely thanks to wagers from those who think an upset special’s on the way from a team that was deemed hot after a single shocking win. Betting on the Bills after the Vikings game is like winning a hundred bucks from a slot machine and plunking it all back in thinking you’ll double it. Don’t bring ATM cards.
The only way to cope is by remembering we’ve suffered like this before. That last game was the worst Bills shutout with an end zone interception in Green Bay since 2002. The fact there’s more than one mortifying atrocity shows how Buffalo’s struggles are historical. At least Peerless Price wasn’t present this time looking for a flag instead of making a tackle.
Time flies when other fanbases are having fun. The season’s already one-quarter over, and a merciful universe will start a running clock. We waited an eternity for joy to fly by. The majority of the games have been tortuous. Swell times are delayed even more. You thought waiting would pay off because it’s your first day.
It’s frustrating to see players who’ve excelled trip over themselves, like when Tyler Myers forgot how to stand on skates. But at least the Bills are just learning and not reverting. In this case, apprentices need leeway while beginning a trade. This team’s been smashed like the buildings in Rampage, and all that’s left is playing in the rubble. Even if there are fun moments, there will be scrapes.
Editor’s babble: If ever there was a week I needed some snark from Anthony Bialy, this was it. My emotions on Sunday after the game were as stone cold as Kelvin Benjamin’s hands. But alas, we get to watch the team try to pry open our hearts again on Sunday when they return to New Era Field to take on the resurgent Tennessee Titans. Heaven help us. Thanks to Anthony for helping us get through another week. You can find Anthony on Twitter @AnthonyBialy.