Training camp counts. Sure, we don’t get games or anything approaching fun. And I suppose they don’t keep score. But summer rehearsals create circumstances that last through year’s end. While trudging along may not sound stimulating, we may as well use this time to learn about getting to our destination.
Buffalo Bills fans try to make the padless intramural grappling interesting. It’ll take slightly less effort to fake it this year, as change is worth it, if what the last coach left sucked.
Just go about your new opportunity wisely. You don’t want to lose weight by cutting off your head. Rather, use crisis as opportunity. Half the starters could be new if the roster undergoes the highest projection of turmoil. You may have to find something new to yell at this year instead of your least favorite linebacker.
Battling for dollars is the next-best thing to trying to get points. Tell those looking for work that training camp is not a contest. No, seriously: say it to them for motivation. Don’t do it online, as that’s a dodge.
Picking who starts and stays is more than a power trip for Sean McDermott, although ruining dreams undoubtedly isn’t as fun as it sounds. Sports are all about making people compete for our entertainment. The barbarity is compensation for the damage these games inflict on our poor hearts.
The staff finds uncontested maneuvers important, and who are you to dislike what they do? Sure, the Bills-on-Bills warfare might only be intriguing by default. But deciding who gets a future based on humiliating teammates is the only option available.
Actual practices mean our speculation will be marginally less errant. Up until glimpses of camp, there’s nothing else on which to base projections.
Of course, lack of evidence never stops true football fans. The NFL Network highlight package they show for each draftee is enough to establish a Hall of Fame case. We certainly aren’t going to avoid making outlandish claims. At least camp observations mean they’ll be mere overreactions instead of outright inventions.
It’s hard to not get jazzed by a thorough overhaul. Even if it takes a year to work, enjoy not knowing that now. Fans are fueled by projections made continually throughout the offseason.
We now get to see how subjects do against invisible foes, which will have to count as progress. NFL teams use the equivalent of ghost runners in backyard baseball. Tackling’s still allowed in real games, so it’s not a full preview for now.
We need things about which to tweet. We’ll still post if we don’t have data. Unshared thoughts are as rare as an honest Patriots win. Social media is a void demanding users create content. It’s boring to write about confirmed facts, so list those guesses.
Ruminating about what will happen is what humans do best. Just don’t keep score. There are countless forums where you can record your most outlandish hopes for January.
There’s good news in case your desire for football to get here right this second isn’t overpowering enough. The devil is on your shoulder telling you to put a 10-win prediction in writing. Unlike playoff streaks, screenshots last forever.
This will be remembered as the initial camp for a polarizing quarterback with a range of opinions as broad as that on ketchup as a hot dog condiment.
If the Bills are going to get nuts and let Josh Allen start from his first pro game, it’ll be because he’s able to connect on medium-range routes in Pittsford. Basing the franchise’s future on a hundred completions during drills may seem like a gamble. Then again, so was selecting him.
Would the comfort of boredom help? AJ McCarron would prefer the coaches go dull. He has to be exciting enough to make the conventional decision plausible. At the same time, he must demonstrate reliability. The veteran by default has to balance shields and firepower on an X-Wing. It’s no surprise so few of them came back from the Death Star.
Each clip during the sports segment of the local news and on social media means the Bills are one step closer to taking shape. We can officially start waiting for real. From coaches to fans, everyone involved is sort-of figuring it out starting now.
Football is the sort of game where fans visualize glorious practice reps. Picturing actual games almost feels like overload. Any fun that occurs this season will have begun here. It’s tough to notice it developing. But you can’t enjoy weight loss tomorrow without sacrifices now. That’s as appetizing as tonight’s celery dinner will get.
Editor’s babble: No one describes the eve of training camp like Anthony Bialy. HIs penchant for the absurd is unsurpassed. Thanks to Anthony for his novel contributions to our blog. You can follow Anthony on Twitter @AnthonyBialy.