Buffalo Bills’ LeSean McCoy Unimpressed by Age Restrictions

Photo of RB LeSean McCoy from Syracuse.com.

Most of us have to obey the laws of physics.  However, LeSean McCoy doesn’t believe in our stupid limits.  Fans struggle not to presume the uncannily talented wizard can change games with a magic wand wave.  But it’s tough not to marvel when the Harry Potter of the Buffalo Bills warps spacetime with a flick of the wrist.  His propensity for changing direction makes it seem as if ignoring reality’s rules is an option.  The bus will still probably hurt if it hits you.

A running back is at the center of a quarterback controversy.  McCoy makes anyone less nervous about who throws the ball.  The best case for Josh Allen involves who would get handoffs.  We can’t just figure the recipient will make circumstance easy.  But he sort-of does just that by distracting from the thrower, who should feel lucky to be ignored.

McCoy will alleviate pressure even if the rookie quarterback isn’t as impressive as hoped.  After all, it is his job.  There’s been nobody more exciting to watch perform since the club’s last playoff appearance back when phones had wires.  The one thing Bills fans have learned from being denied talent is to appreciate it while it’s present.

Making life hard for defensive coordinators is McCoy’s trade.  Our treasured rusher limits where foes think they can put their safeties.  There will be pain inflicted if foolhardy opponents hold them back in some goofy zone.  A raw rookie quarterback enjoys more than chicken finger subs in Buffalo.

I don’t want to take him for granted, but I’m already accustomed to having him around.  McCoy can’t get back all those years wasted in Philadelphia.  I mean, I guess he had a good career there or whatever, what with gaining about three miles per carry and scoring at will.  But he came to the Bills to really be appreciated.

Photo from labnews.co.uk.

Enjoy the comet before it fades against the night sky.  I hate to be pessimistic about how time progresses, but there are only so many more games to enjoy before an asteroid hits Earth.  That astrophysical downer is just a reminder to enjoy the present.  The star man hasn’t slowed yet.

The clock ticks faster than usual.  It’s not poor craftsmanship.  Running backs become elderly at the same age as medieval peasants.  Our favorite gets older even if he seems to defy other physical tendencies.

Birthdays of strangers inspire joy and contemplation if you’re cheering hard enough.  He turns 30 next Thursday if you want an excuse to skip work.  That’s about the time where those who man the position have settled into Florida retirement communities.

But McCoy is youthful by the category’s standard despite entering his fourth decade.  Someone with that much uncanny speed gets a few more years to impress, which is a reason to shush anyone yapping during plays when his number’s called.

This daring space adventurer cuts parsecs off his travel time.  The college Panther remains uncommonly evasive at an age when most who’ve held the same job are looking for restaurants in which to invest.

Photo of RB LeSean McCoy from sportingnews.com.

Nothing has stopped McCoy yet.  It seems impossible that he’ll keep evading tacklers like they’re zombies.  But, like the goal of never dying, it seems to be going well so far.

McCoy is so integral to the Bills that it’s easy to forget the purportedly indispensable player sent away in exchange.  Remember Kiko Alonso?  And we thought he’d be missed.  His reputation sunk faster than Roseanne’s.  And the erstwhile legend is hopefully being replaced.  Tremaine Edmunds will start his own lore if his play even comes close to projections.

Now, let’s hope we don’t see him.  A summer separation will make us appreciate McCoy even more by September.  It’s time for the annual ritual of an easy summer for Buffalo’s most talented player this century.  McCoy’s practices should make Anthony Cumia look like he works overtime.

He should get to camp without training.  McCoy will be there to run where he wants once the games count.  A wise coaching staff looks to minimize scratches on their prized Ferrari. Shady has earned the right to have a low-mileage summer.

McCoy is the closest thing to predictable in football.  As a result, he should get to spend training camp playing the NES Classic.  An Excitebike high score is the only thing on his agenda.

July practices offer a chance for football sorcerers to predict what’s next with a glimpse as evidence.  As a reward for running as fast as he can turn, McCoy’s excused from previews.  If we know anything about the Bills, it’s that their genuine star will be ready for features.

Editor’s babble: No doubt LeSean McCoy should be carefully wrapped in gauze until the season starts. Thanks to Anthony Bialy for his always-entertaining contributions to our blog. You can follow Anthony on Twitter @AnthonyBialy.

About Anthony Bialy

Anthony Bialy recently moved back to Buffalo from New York City and acts like he never left. He thinks "Buffalo 66" is biographical and considers it a crime against mankind that Steve Tasker is not in the Hall of Fame. He likes getting Tim Hortons on the way to get Labatt Blue. Follow him on Twitter at @AnthonyBialy.