There’s good news if Josh Allen liked proving he can throw without anyone catching. His biggest excuse at Wyoming also applies to his pro-squad. When it comes to receivers, the Buffalo Bills would like to point out how good their cornerbacks are.
The club should look into cyborg quarterbacks who throw it really, really well so it’s impossible to drop. Are they invented yet?
Fretting about who will reel it in offers a break from wondering if Allen could conceivably start. Any quarterback is going to have to get creative in order to find open targets. The starter may have grounds to gripe that he didn’t get enough help. Not indulging will be a test of professionalism.
There aren’t many players to ponder. Meeting the Bills wide receivers won’t take much of your time. It’s easy to fit all players in the group with significant experience in a tweet along with their colleges, hometowns, and hobbies with room for a hashtag. A lack of names to memorize isn’t a virtue.
The draft is over in case there’s uncertainty. Anyone hoping they might still add more rookies to catch can give up now. Management waited until the 187th pick to address a need that’s as obvious as Russ Brandon’s contempt for respect. The Bills performed triage and determined some positions needed treatment even more urgently.
This may be a crummy time to remember that Jordan Matthews is gone. John Paul I had a bigger impact as pope. I’d wish Matthews well in his next phase except for how much I loathe his guts now. It’s hard to get excited for him bouncing back considering he’s joined forces with Thanos in Massachusetts. Brace for his breakout season like the other former Bills who traded souls for the privilege.
At least this franchise still has that other receiver who made a splash before injuries made him disappear like Dexy’s Midnight Runners. Kelvin Benjamin gets another shot at hits after last year’s quasi-start. He’s in luck if he wants to prove he can be the primary threat, as his team has a vacancy.
The other options have the capacity to surprise if you’d like to be positive. Jeremy Kerley has to overcome a suspension and lack of use last year. Richie Incognito’s team has shown itself to be cool with providing second changes, so new hires should respect the precedent.
I wish for fewer reminders about how there’s more than football, and not just because I don’t want to believe it. It’s still more important for Zay Jones to get his life back together. Life should never be defined by a TMZ video.
Outside options to improve are weighed down by asterisks. Any product sitting on the shelf this long has probably expired. On that note, there’s a reason why someone with Dez Bryant’s talent remains unsigned. The pretty players are always crazy.
Anyone still seeking a team is bound to be free of issues, right? Wondering why someone like Bryant has enjoyed unscheduled free agency this long is like trying to figure out why Guns N’ Roses didn’t make more albums, then remembering how Axl acts.
Adding wideouts is like Mad Libs: fill in the blank with any released player. The most appealing of any receiver right now is that he’s released. June 1 will be like a thrifting trip for a team desperate for vintage bargains.
Why can’t the Bills sign anyone from any team? Stupid contracts are too permanent in this Snapchat era. They’ve had to spend finite resources on more pressing concerns.
It’s better to draft a quarterback now and hope he can work with whoever’s available than expect Sammy Watkins to catch your dreams. The lack of thrilling possibilities for the group is one more reason to give Allen a year to learn to throw off his front foot.
The franchise tried improving at the pass’s source for a change of pace. Unexceptional quarterback play has coincidentally been the standard for as long as they’ve gone without a playoff win. A chef can only cook something so tasty with potted meat.
Maybe a Craigslist ad would fill wideout openings. The position feels like a video game with unsaved slots. Everyone’s naturally hoping to get Allen a full complement of receivers. It just may take as long as it does to improve his reads. But last season’s miraculous wild card encounter should’ve taught us to not write off anything.
It’s time to stop being scared of the future. The Bills are trying to move past using phones with wires. They can stop fretting about long distance. It’s time to get modern and realize you can connect through space, in their case by throwing the ball. The 21st century is going to be fun whenever it starts.
Editor’s babble: The Bills offense is such a mystery. New OC, new QB, new scheme, new OL, questionable receivers. How can anyone make any assumptions about how the offense will fare at this point? Thanks to Anthony Bialy for his unique way to bring us all a good laugh along with a dose of reality. You can find Anthony on Twitter @AnthonyBialy.