Like Billy Joe Hobert and the playbook, there’s so much we don’t know. But lack of information shouldn’t deter us from proclaiming opinions assertively as biblical truth. It’s so unlike football fans to announce just what will happens months from now in a sport with more variables than quantum physics. The Xs and Os can go anywhere.
We should definitely give up before the opener. After all, the Buffalo Bills took the quarterback that was last on many fans’ draft boards. That’s figuratively; if you literally have a draft board, I applaud your intensity.
Regardless, Josh Allen is known to be a bust. I suppose we could let him play a few games first, but that seems beside the point. Why wait for anything as flimsy as evidence?
Crazy optimists may claim Allen should get a chance to play before we decide he’s failed. That’s fair enough. Still, there’s work to do. Buffalo’s rookie quarterback has been vaguely diagnosed as having all the gifts without the ability to use them consistently. Allen has to learn a new language, which is a schmerzen im Hintern. A communications major must learn to express himself.
It’s too bad we were unaware which of a hundred prospects we should’ve been scouting until it was over. Oh: time moves forward. If you travel to the past, tell yourself to scout Wyoming football. Then yell to buy Apple stock if there are any moments left before the dimensional vortex shutters.
A particular type of degenerate insomniac fan may have seen lots of Allen. Wyoming is the sort of team you watch if you’ve had a particularly indolent Saturday watching college football and decided to watch through the late West Coast game on the CBS Sports Network.
Lots of mechanics have noted where someone with Allen’s latent power could improve performance. It’s fine to have hoped he could’ve willed his team to a slightly better finish than 8-5. At the same time, it’s fair to wonder if he was the only one worth watching like Eddie Murphy on Saturday Night Live.
Yes, Allen needs to learn there’s only one foot off which he should throw. But every forecast should presume the front office knows more than anyone locked out of the draft room. I mean, it is their job. They just need to remain humble about projections. Their greatest bit of knowledge is knowing they know noting.
Even meticulous scouting doesn’t create certainties when it pertains to life after college. If you think there’s a sure thing in a draft comprised of players with zero combined games of pro experience, I’ve got a secret system to beating roulette to share with you. You have to put money in my PayPal first.
Allen’s physical characteristics can’t be learned. His bosses apparently think accuracy is obtainable with enough rehearsals. He seems to excel at bombs while struggling to target screens. As with Picasso painting his house, doing the mundane tasks well is important, too.
The Bills think they can change him. Of course, that’s been the source of many failed marriages. Yet second weddings continue to occur in the triumph of hope over experience, or in Buffalo’s case about a dozen. Trent Edwards was such a tease.
At least Buffalo’s new savior has been enthusiastic. It’s easier to follow someone who tells us how awesome we are. Allen sounds like Paul Stanley praising whatever town KISS is playing that night.
Enjoy not dealing with absent problems. Everyone with a new quarterback has to fret about something. Allen created none of the attitudinal issues that make Cleveland fans wonder if they added Bakey Football. And the Cardinals can’t feel confident seeing Josh Rosen pout resentfully like Jay Cutler.
Imaginations can prompt insanity if they scamper unchecked. It’s essential to neither fret about nightmares coming true nor get carried away with the team’s assurances that they just drafted Junior Jim Kelly. It’d be nice to hope they’ll someday talk about drafting the next Allen.
Our favorite team thinks their top pick makes the word “awesome” seen inadequate. It’s uncanny how every commentator the Bills found thinks Allen is the spiritual heir of Johnny Unitas combined with cyborg Joe Montana. There’s nothing wrong with a team trying to convince fans. It’s just important to be aware of the attempt to be convincing.
Enough football soothsayers act as if they know exactly how people will do at first jobs. Many of them were sure Shaq Lawson and Reggie Ragland would’ve already led a defensive renaissance. There’s so much free time before they get to work that we understandably speculate. But don’t let guesses turn into presumptions.
Let this serve as a reminder to doubt everyone about everything. Um, that’s except for me when I say that. Buffalo’s front office would maintain we haven’t seen Allen at his best. They’re hoping the lack of refinement leads to surprises. Now, that’s optimistic, even for Bills fans. Sell us on him having the most room for improvement.
I’m spending $10 million because I’m going to win the lottery. Maybe it’s best to see how the drawing goes. While I may very well hit on the numbers next time, it’s best to wait until draft picks get to try their own combinations.
This draft class could be made to sound like it contains the greatest concentration of talent possible. That’s what they said about Batman & Robin. Let’s see how they’re directed. Everything before and since the draft is an unchecked theory in case any assurance about the future comes across as too confident.
If you worry about this franchise’s ability to judge talent, Russ Brandon is presently updating his résumé. I would decline to let him use me as a reference. Those still employed by the club should take motivation where it’s found. Allen should feel ticked about being doubted, which would make him the perfect Buffalonian.
Editor’s babble: Thanks to Anthony Bialy for his unenviable task of helping us get through another ‘Hump Day’. You can follow Anthony on Twitter @AnthonyBialy.
*Views expressed by authors are not necessarily the opinion of the owners of the BillsMafia.com website.