Life can change over one game. Take how I went from from watching a Super Bowl with weary detachment to swearing on Philadelphia’s behalf. Mountain Dew’s Sprite knockoff kicking in can take some of the credit. But New England not getting what it expects is the best stimulant.
An exciting Super Bowl where the Patriots lose only counted as one wish. The universe finally starts balancing out. Enjoy perusing phantom New England championship merchandise until the 2018 opener.
The notion that the championship could be both stressful and ultimately enjoyable seemed unlikely as recently as Sunday afternoon. The Buffalo Bills are trying to convince fans that they could participate. Imagine being too concerned about play to focus on Super Bowl wing dip. That sounds horrifying, but only because the excitement of competitive football is novel around here.
The wrinkled among us were once personally invested in our team attempting to win it all. We sure weren’t sharing our thoughts on magic pocket computers.
Buffalo’s genuine title hopes were like half the Super Bowls ago. As with waiting for the ‘Walking Dead’ to stop being bleak, it hasn’t even seemed possible. But the Bills showing they’re playoff caliber demonstrated there’s nothing technically preventing them from participating. Nobody thought they’d win the sixth seed, which is a good start.
Another Super Bowl revolving around cheering against someone is fine for now. The team I technically wanted to win is from a city known for kicking anyone that wasn’t punched enough. Noting the City of Brotherly Love’s tendency to riot at every result may end up with batteries raining upon me, but I must remain honest.
This mean universe made me cheer for a Philadelphia sports team. I feared that I would end up wearing a Flyers jersey, so it could’ve been worse.
I’ve heard this Patriots franchise is unpopular despite previous success. The plucky fellas just fell short of adding to their title pile. Nobody seems sympathetic. Every other fanbase hates them more than orphan leprosy on account of smugness in victory and churlishness in defeat.
It’s nice to see Flash Gordon rise and prevent Ming the Merciless from destroying Earth. Someone had to be the hero. The Bills are one of the clubs that has failed at countless opportunities to interdict. The second-best time to start toppling the Patriot empire is now.
Watching Satan’s favorite lose in the finale isn’t enough. Their perpetual contention has coincided with our descent into madness. Most dynasties perish through ego and bloating. It’s already way too late, but the fissures can appear any time now.
You can’t un-smash the sand castle. If that homeless coach of theirs really quits, it still won’t change what his henchmen have already accomplished. Their elite status was dull when Buffalo had Krispy Kreme locations nearby.
An agreeable result is appreciated precisely because it’s rare. Bad taste often prevails. People still drink Bud Light even though it tastes like the contents of a wading pool for rats and costs IQ points every time one parrots their ads’ irksome catchphrases.
It feels like it’s possible our own beloved club might be able to contend before the cyborgs crush society. Now, let’s not get too carried away. It’s going to take a dozen or two personnel moves. And Buffalo will need better quarterback play, as it turns out that’s important. At least it feels like they’re finally more than literally in the same league as postseason squads.
The Bills remain a couple of steps away, which is either intimidating or heartening. But a simple wild card appearance makes it feel like the franchise is no longer listening to the Super Bowl on a transistor radio in the parking lot. The prospect of advancing was once as implausible as giving up on Kiko Alonso.
The Eagles showed it’s possible to overcome odd personnel moves. Nick Foles was subject to the same Chip Kelly purge that thankfully brought us LeSean McCoy. The Super Bowl MVP’s resurgence would be too implausible for Disney.
Start the offseason by wildly dreaming of nabbing the Patriot-beating MVP, and not just because he’d improve Buffalo’s receiving corps. Foles is almost too obvious to discuss acquiring. But his demonstrated skills make pursuing him the opposite of the Raiders falling for Larry Brown.
The Eagles might keep Foles in the fold because they have a low cap figure on a Super Bowl-winning quarterback. If they are antsy in victory, he’d be a better option than, say, whoever the Bills would get with the second-round pick they trade for him. For now, the Mafia can help make more dreams come true if anyone would like to help a charity Foles supports.
The playoffs are no longer about just watching everyone else have fun. It’s not to be a downer, but I must remind you they’re not guaranteed to make it 17 straight times now. At the same time, it no longer feels like the Bills have been preemptively eliminated.
Our lesson revolves around patience, so be glad for tangible improvement. We can say things like “McCoy is the most talented Bill this century” instead of “McCoy is the most talented Bill of the drought.” That’s not as good as a locker room hat, but this team is dressing better.
I can’t wait to get back to the playoffs feeling tortuous. We just experienced getting to Thursday and sensing each minute passing while waiting for a playoff game to kick off. Imagine the tension lasting more than a single outing. The prospect is horrible and amazing.
Buffalo’s season ended in the same year as the Super Bowl, so that’s a kind of progress. It was sure nice to enjoy one fewer week of watching only evil or banal teams. That wild card game really killed some time. And it seems like the offseason could be even shorter. The Bills haven’t taught young people Roman numerals in awhile. But it doesn’t seem implausible in the next IV or V years.
Editor’s babble: Using Roman numerals or not, we thank Anthony Bialy for his always-entertaining contributions to our blog. You can follow Anthony on Twitter @AnthonyBialy. Have a great day!
*Views shared are the opinion of the author and may or may not represent the owners of billsmafia.com.