Ugh: it’s the Patriots. Cartoonish villainousness always prevails in the unwelcome kind of life lesson. Can’t evil lose occasionally? The story never changes, which is like Dick Dastardly and Mutley winning every Wacky Race.
Deviousness is rewarded in this very fair universe of ours. But the Buffalo Bills have to move past getting ripped off unless they want to begin stewing on schedule.
The Bills didn’t hear about how they’re supposed to win when the defense scored. Santa heard us swear with a phrase that began “HOLY…” and decided to not deliver hopes. I’m still waiting for the refs to rule Jordan Poyer didn’t complete the catch.
The Bills historically make it hard enough to care about this sport. The league must pile on. There’s nothing fans love more than brain-dead soulless officials taking a couple weeks to indulge in excruciating minutiae that’s the enemy of logic and joy.
Everyone sees a catch but those who are supposed to be experts. The NFL wonders why it’s gone from sitting with the cheerleaders to being rejected by Magic: The Gathering kids.
Nobody for the Bills tried to destroy a foe’s brain because a call didn’t go their way. It’s for the best, as only one franchise is allowed to act like they’ve been made.
Of course, Buffalo lost on their own nonetheless. They have an entire half to overcome having points and momentum taken away. But they shouldn’t have to do so. It’s already hard enough to win when the field’s level.
Complaining about officiating is like noting the weather is brisk this time of year. Yet that doesn’t change its accuracy. If Roger Goodell wants to dispel theories about favoritism, he should eliminate examples.
A league supposedly about parity gives good teams every break. The NFL should sell shirts indicating the beatings will continue until morale improves to further exploit fans of 31 teams.
Disreputable rulings distract from the team’s shortcomings. As much fun it is to wish for NFL officials would contract leprosy, the Bills could’ve done more to help their case. The lack of pass rush distracted from the intermittent accuracy from their own quarterback.
Despite frequent blunders and letdowns, the season’s not over. For once, anxiety will last until the last game. Now, that could mean we’re just disappointed later. But there’s an easy way to measure if they’ve made the progress as professed. Or, they could have a letdown against the dang Dolphins.
Winning might not be enough on account of earlier losing. So, that’s why you don’t let others control your destiny. The principle sounds easy. But it’s obviously the hardest thing in the world based on how the event occurs annually.
Buffalo’s astronomers are tired of figuring out if stars have aligned properly. This club has not reached supernova-level yet. Life would’ve been so much easier this century with even three more wins against the Patriots.
The Bills have been waiting for the division to change. But they were the ones who were supposed to be changing it all along. Waiting for the bully and his toady to retire hasn’t made the time pass more quickly for victims.
Like you, I dream about New England’s quarterback and coach going away to start a Panera franchise together. But there won’t be true happiness even when they scram. It will remain unsatisfying to not beat them, especially considering the condition’s seeming permanence. Satan’s usually a better negotiator.
It’s possible for the year and season to not end on the same day. Mysterious and wonderful rumors are true. The Bills have already come so far. Today is the anniversary of Rex Ryan getting fired if you’ve grown accustomed to the quiet.
This franchise has changed about a decade’s worth in a year. Toppling Miami would be another sign they know there’s more to football than declaring you’re good at it.
But a new outlook hasn’t ended the habit of getting dominated by their most despised opponent. Inventiveness isn’t always impressive. The Bills have lost in every possible way to the stupid jerks. From blowouts to blowing close chances, the one consistency is disappointment.
Does knowing it’s been worse help? No? Well, there have been so many times when the offense, defense, or both didn’t bother to participate that they’d have to be ranked. A game that was close for a few moments offers little comfort.
You try winning when nobody knows the rules. The Bills must not stay sour through the end of what’s clearly been a delightful year for all humans. True professionals would forget about getting jobbed. At least professional wrestling admits it’s phony.
The Bills remaining eligible is remarkable yet stressful. They may be setting up for an even bigger letdown. If you don’t fear it, you may be new here. Needing help from the Bengals is a sign this franchise still has work to do. The potential to be disappointed is a sign of progress. That doesn’t mean they have to let it happen.
Editor’s babble: Thanks to Anthony Bialy for helping us laugh through yet another mind-blowing disastrous game against the Patriots. You can follow Anthony on Twitter @AnthonyBialy.